I am Nicholas’ mama….

I am Nicholas’ mama. & I am wholly in love with that title. I am also….. wholly exhausted. And it is the best feeling in the whole wide open world. 

Being Nicholas’ mama is messy. Last night we ate “crispy” porkchops. “Crispy” is my euphemism for “the grilled pork chops caught fire on the grill and somehow Andy was nowhere to be found (he was,surprise!, in the garage) and I had to pick between making sure N didn’t go swimming in the dogs water bowl and letting the chops go “crispy” so alas, we had crispy pork chops. Once dinner was over, and we were settling down for a bit Andy said “honey go change your shirt, you have sweet potatoes on your back”. And, sure enough I did. I had a toddler handprint of sweet potatoes on my shoulder. 

I spend most of my days in the irony of getting messy to help my child who doesn’t like to be messy. He loves a baby wipe. Just the other day he used up a whole tub of baby wipes on his hands & face in under 2 minutes. (Mess for me; clean happy fun time for Nicholas). He loves to wash his hands. Over and over and over again. He loves the soap and the water. I look like I’ve had a shower after we wash our hands because he’s had so much fun getting clean in the sink. But by golly, we have clean hands. 

Being Nicholas’ mama is hilarious. Probably for both Nicholas and me. He has his great grandmother’s famous side eye. When he uses it on you, you get chills & think “Bea Parker, is that you in there?”. He has uncanny timing with his (often) dry humor. He will crack a joke with his sign language or the few words he knows and you will go from angry/frustrated/overwhelmed to laughing so hard your belly hurts. 

Being mama is humbling. Every single day. Nicholas is a truth telling mirror for me. Who knew I wag my index finger when saying “NO”?  Well, maybe you did but I never did until one night at dinner when I said “NO” (complete with index finger) and Nicholas just stared back at me in silence. Then his eyes lit up, he put up his hand and with a big smile on his face said “NUH” complete with his own impersonation of said index finger. Andy erupted in laughter. I looked at him and asked “do I do that often?” to which Andy responded “All the time. All the time.”. 

So, on this Mother’s Day I’d like to pronounce that I am Nicholas’ mama. & I am in love with that. It’s an honor. It’s a privilege. It’s messy. It’s humbling.  It’s exhausting.  We have frequent “we deserve our own reality show moments”.But it is oh so full of love & laughter that I wouldn’t change it for the world. 

Today, I’ll get my people up in a few moments and get them ready for church. I asked Andy & Nicholas not to get me presents (I think Andy thought “is this a trick???” It’s not). Just promise me there will be brunch after church that I don’t have to make or clean up. And wine. Emphasis on the wine. 

Happy Mother’s Day. 

One thought on “I am Nicholas’ mama….

  1. This may well be your best entry yet. Motherhood is messy, & also the best thing we ever do! Nicholas is so blessed to have you both as his parents! And WE are blessed to have you as our first daughter! Much love.


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